Sadly, i heard the news that a friend of mine lost their dad to suicide on Tuesday afternoon. It really was a huge shock. He and his former wife were really good to me and my dad, especially when my dad was going through his divorce. I used to hang out at their house when I just couldn't stand being at home...so, I am unable to make it to the funeral tomorrow due to a work situation but my heart really goes out to his family, I'm sure this is harder than anything. In the small town I graduated from there are already so many rumors circulating, and it makes me so angry. People in that town judge everyone, and in the case of this person's death, does anyone really know what happened...? Of course not. Sometimes people seem to be well put together on the outside but on the inside they are screaming to get out, so, I hope that people will be compassionate of his memory.

On a happier note, I scrapbooked last night. If any of you have a chance, read Silje's blog. She is so fresh and unique. I really enjoy her use of non scrapbook items...so I tried to incorporate a little bubble wrap into my layout. It isn't half as cool as hers but I'm sure the more I work with it the better I will be able to find my own niche with it. I'm a little drained, emotionally and physically so I'm keeping this short. Have a fab weekend!

So my layout won first place at the fair...totally rockin'!

Biting the Muse, because he won't seem to bite back...

So, I got quite the "susprise," as I like to call it, today. A box arrived on our doorstep filled with fresh chocolate dipped strawberries. You know what they say about the way to a man's heart? Well, it works for me too! ha ha. Quite the awesome anniversary gift, on top of going to Seattle. We've hit our two year mark, and I'm certainly looking forward to future years to come. That boy amazes me to no end, mostly because he puts up with me when I'm moody, and bossy, when I kick his butt at Nintendo and when I take over most of the house with my scrapping stuff. Chris likes still water...and I prefer to rock the boat, or tip it over...we create a very good balance in that way. I spent a long time being someone I really wasn't, and someone I really didn't want to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm still learning how to grow in my skin, and I love him soooooo much because he sees it, even when I don't, he gets me...and fortunately for my sake...he loves me anyway!

I told myself I would be more disciplined about writing, and I haven't been. It seems my writing group meets at a time which just doesn't work for me, so I'm kinda lost on the sharing part :( This time of year for me is just difficult. I am somewhat captivated by the change, connected to the dead foliage that piles around me, because I am also part of this forced detachment and transformation, restless to find a fixed belonging to my own roots. Explaining my background, my family, requires nothing short of a map. Everything has been a series of revisions, sharp and unforgiving, leaving my identity in fragments that have simply been spliced back together. I have been working on this essay for over a year...ok, let me rephrase, the essay is done but I'm found myself constantly driven to keep revising the piece, perhaps avoiding sending it out and risking rejection....or even better, publication. Your words can be what you want them to be until you release them out into the world. Then they become something real, a message to be interpreted by someone else, there is judgment and that ugly word...expectation.

I met this random person in the bookstore the other night. I enjoy talking about books and writing and learned that his mom had named him F. Scott...(then last name) with the hopes he would become a writer, and he went on to say he has fought that destiny all his life. He found a blogsite called sixsentences where you are challenged to write only six sentences. Think of it as your five minutes of fame. Apparently he wrote a few things, feeling particularly inspired, and they were accepted. It so happened that his first one was appearing the next day. I was a little inspired myself. Maybe I should feel lucky to have talent in more than one thing, and to be good at things I really love and enjoy. So many have pushed me, perhaps its time I push myself.

P.S. anyone who wants to maybe get together and share writing or write or something of that creative, muse biting nature, give me a shout.

this was my weekend...

I spent the weekend feeling yucky and painting buttons. We also have Chris' brother in town which is super cool.

A few things I've been up to

I've had several people ask me how I make transparency/overlays. So, I will give a quick how to. You can use several programs depending on your comfort level. I use both Photoshop elements and word. If using word, got to insert/picture from file and then choose your graphic. Arrange the graphic on your page as if you were printing it out as is. if using photo shop you can either start a new project or simply arrange the graphic in the print preview window. Keep in mind that light colors do not show up well, and most printers will not print white fonts or borders onto transparencies. Once you are satisfied with the graphic go to print/properties and you should see several tabs. under paper/quality tab select the type as "transparency other" Under the finishing tab check the mirror image box. this will flip your image for printing and then when you lay it over your page it will be right side up. make sure to put transparency in the printer with the rough side down, and let it dry for 30 minutes before use. you can preserve the printed image by spraying a light coat of krylon kamar clear varnish over the printed on side and letting it dry. I have heard there are ways to make rub ons but not yet perfected that...so i'll keep working on it.

Another fun project I've been working on is turning little chipboard peices I got at Paper pals into buttons. Using a standard hole punch (i use my crop-a-dile tool) you can punch holes through each piece. I use liquitex acrylic paint and then for the designs or doodling either a zig paint pen or a sharpie poster paint pen. The zig pens take longer to dry but have a better look to them...more glossy. After everything is dry I use diamond glaze over the top of each piece (pretty generously...I don't really smooth it with a brush, just let it settle evenly) and let dry. It takes about 15-20 minutes for it to really be dry/hardened but the outcome is awesome. they look like they are professionally made! (well, other than the fact that I am not the worlds greatest doodler...ha ha.) and I found that if you mess up the glaze at all while it is drying, just use a little spray bottle of water to spray a couple mists of water onto the top and it will settle itself. I put some of these buttons as well as some epoxy ones onto etsy lately. And yes, shawna, I promise I'll try to do the skull ones we talked about!

Since my computer is fighting with the internet, ill have pictures from seattle coming soon!

Inspiration

I want to update...really I do. But I feel like this jar of buttons, with everything spilling out and tumbling farther and faster than I can catch up. So soon, I promise... I will write something decent and semi coherent soon!